Ep. 105 - with Kari Lizer - Comedy writer, animal lover.

July 9, 2020

NOTE: If you are reading this, this is my written Blog. To LISTEN, please SUBSCRIBE to the Podcast at Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio – or wherever you get your Podcasts. It helps get my podcast noticed. And if you’d like to rate it as well, PLEASE DO!

A number of my friends are trying to ignore the news that gushes continuously like lava, a spill so toxic that it prevents them from doing things. From enjoying their constricted summers. From feeling good feelings. I do understand this.

There’s a part of me that wishes I could join that community, and read more fiction, take more walks, and eat meals with friends al fresco.

I simply cannot. I make no judgement. I am not wired to not pay attention to what is going on – on so many fronts. I do know how to compartmentalize my thoughts, as most people who have been through an unhappy marriage learn to do, but that is not the same at all.

I can still enjoy my new life as an amateur baker and cook. I am able to read (thank God) and write and adore my family. I am talking more with friends on the phone, and getting pleasure from my endless rounds of purging my closets. But sorry, I cannot for a moment put out of my head that the numbers of Americans who will die from the Coronavirus will probably double, while their feckless and malignant president plays another round of golf. I can’t put out of my head the racism I read about on blogs and even on Instagram. I can’t not dwell on the evil of Tucker Carlson’s disrespect to Senator Tammy Duckworth, whose legs were blown off in the Iraq war. (While Carlson dared it all to be on “Dancing with the Stars”.). I cannot forget for one second the vile monologues of Laura Ingraham pretending that masks are the problem.

Author Kari Lizer and host, Lisa Birnbach

I’ll stop here because I have also had some very positive feelings in the last week, and before I tell you what they are, let me introduce you to our guest. She is Kari Lizer, a very funny writer whose work you know from tv – she wrote and produced “Will & Grace” and created and wrote “The New Adventures of Old Christine.” Now she has written her first book, Aren’t You Forgetting Someone? Essays from my Mid-Life Revenge. And I think you’ll enjoy her.

My list;

1. As I’ve found old mementos and souvenirs, I’m planning on going to the framer with some pieces and shuffling the art around on my walls. That’ll freshen things up.

Summer_Skin_Protection_Skincare_Arizona_Blogger_Paige_Poppe_Art_5_1024x1024.jpg

2. Covid skin: If this were a normal summer, I’d already be tanned and pushing my body into premature aging. Given that I’m indoors most of the time, my epidermis is enjoying a break from the UV rays. And when I’m outside, I’m wearing a hat and a mask, and a SPF 41, so no harm.

3. I’m loving the preppy face masks from Rowing Blazers. The ones I have are made from striped shirting material and seersucker. You can order them at rowingblazers.com/collections/face-masks. With every mask they sell the company donates a mask to the Food Bank for New York City.

4. Rosé. A glass of chilled rose is the perfect way to end my workday. It reminds me it’s summer.

5. Dr. Fauci. LISTEN TO HIM!

Kari Lizer’s 5 Things:

Five things that make my life better:

1. My dogs

2. Always having a trip in the works

3. Notebooks (and Uniball pens)

4. Saying No

5. Ugly underwear

More about Kari Lizer

Aren’t You Forgetting Someone? Essays from My Mid-Life Revenge
By KARI LIZER
Published by Running Press

Instagram @KariLizer

Twitter @LizerKari

The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced at The Field in NYC. My team is Shpresa Oruci, Michael Porte, Sam Haft and Boco Haft

https://thefieldtv.com

Comment

Ep. 104 - with Susanna Styron - Migraine: The film that explains it all.

July 3, 2020

Wait? Are you kidding? JULY???????

Alright. If you say so.

Everywhere I go (in the virtual sense), I talk to people about race. I might bring it up, or they might. I’m thinking about skin color and why I haven’t thought more about skin color until now. We white people have not understood the exhaustion it must cause, the strain of every single day a Black person navigates in the world. I am trying to add that to the equation of how extra hard life is if you are Black. That’s all I can say now.

Teenage Lisa’s first cake from a mix - age 15 ish?

Meanwhile, at Headquarters, I am reading a lot (publishing didn’t stop during the pandemic) and botching up a significant amount of craft material. (I’m trying to knit while watching the news, and that is not going well.). We are cooking and now baking, and I do not recognize myself! I used to cook only under duress and baking never. The photo here is my last previous attempt at baking, a cake for my orthodontist, Dr. Brendan Boylan, to reward ourselves for a good (long) run with braces.

Host Lisa Birnbach and her guest, Susanna Styron, writer/director, OUT OF MY HEAD

My guest this week, Susanna Styron is a filmmaker and writer, who I have known casually for a number of years. When I discovered she’d made a film about migraine (not migraines), I had to see it and talk to her, as I have been a migraine sufferer for the last few years. For a longtime I only knew a few people who dealt with this crippling syndrome; now it seems that its numbers have increased like crazy, or that more symptoms are now understood to be part of this disease; or that people are more open about their individual medical challenges. In any case, in this stressful summer of COVID and police brutality hastening an understanding about Black persecution, I feel a migraine coming on. And perhaps you do too.

And now, the Five Things that made Lisa’s life better this week:

1. I got my hair done. You can say I’m vain or silly or have my priorities all screwed up. Go ahead! But my matriarch has been chomping on the bit about her hair for the last four months, and I was sporting the hair of Patti Smith (whom I admire for her authenticity as well as her art). My brilliant colorist has a salon in Connecticut which was open for business and is as airy and pleasant as can be. It was an adventure: My mother, my #ExhibitC and me – the last time the three of us had been alone together was last August for lunch in honor of my mom’s 89th birthday. We came masked and gloved. Angela Cosmai and her team were masked and gloved. We were classic, raggedy befores. Now we are sleek afters. Did it make all three of us feel better, more energized? Yes, and we had a few laughs in the process.

2. Rhubarb. I have been a fan of rhubarb’s even before I knew what the vegetable (according to Google) looked like in its raw form. For those of you who haven’t had it, it’s that pink celery looking stuff in the produce section. It’s really only around in the spring/summer. Rhubarb has a tartness that’s much more subtle than lemon or kiwifruit. And paired with other fruits it offers a kind of “umami” as a balance. YOU CANNOT EAT RAW RHUBARB, so this summer, of course I’m baking with it. My friend Marsha who is my food twin* sent me a recipe for an olive oil rhubarb and lemon bundt cake that uses absolutely every bowl and mixer, and spoon, and measuring cup, and tool in my kitchen, not to mention about an hour to make but it’s worth it. (I failed at it the first attempt.). And I found a recipe for rhubarb crumb cake that is yummy and much much easier. As I said, I don’t recognize myself.

3. The Lincoln Project. Founded last December by Republicans George Conway, Steve Schmidt, Rick Wilson, John Weaver, Jennifer Horn, and others, its purpose is to prevent Trump and Trumpism to prevail in the 2020 election. “We look to Lincoln as our guide and inspiration. He understood the necessity of not just saving the Union, but also of knitting the nation back together spiritually as well as politically. But those wounds can be bound up only once the threat has been defeated. So, too, will our country have to knit itself back together after the scourge of Trumpism has been overcome.” The Lincoln Project has been producing and airing very tough commercials about Trump’s many lies, hypocrisies, failures, and profiteering. Indeed, many of them are tougher than the ads produced by Joe Biden and his troupes. But now, partisanship doesn’t matter. (I realized that in 2017 when I saw how many Republican writers and politicians I had begun to follow.) The ads point to Biden as the only option reasonable Americans have. Go to their website at lincolnproject.us.

4. Shtisel will be coming back for Season 3. (Followers of this podcast and blog, I ask you: have I shown restraint by not putting this at #1, or not?). The brilliant, complex, and nuanced Israeli tv series that began with a modest run of two seasons in Israel in 2013 has become an international sensation over the last few years on Netflix. The fact that this family is Charedi – ultra Orthodox Jewish, living in Jerusalem, and speaking in Yiddish or Hebrew melts away as we see the family dynamics of any family writ large. Now, 7 years later, “Shtisel” is back in production for its third season, with I believe, all the original cast. The title is the surname of the family we have come to understand and care about. If you haven’t discovered this program yet, you have time to do it now.

5. Dr. Fauci. Having not seen him in a few weeks, maybe people thought we were winding down our concerns. Sadly, of course, that was not the case, nor would it be in a country that has no uniform and sensible policy. Now states are reclosing. The US is now poised to have triple the fatalities as first estimated. By God, what would we do without him?

Susanna Styron’s 5 Things:

My five (in no particular order):

1. Coffee

2. My daughter and her partner quarantining with me

3. Heather Cox Richardson

4. Large bodies of water

5. Protest

More About Susanna Styron:

Out of My Head
Migraine. It’s Not Just a Headache.

A film by Jacki Ochs and Susanna Styron
www. outofmyheadfilm.com

A filmmaker, seeking treatment for her daughter's migraine attacks, discovers a confounding neurological disease and learns why a devastating condition, afflicting nearly a billion people worldwide, remains so deeply misunderstood.

Facebook
@TheMigraineProject

Twitter
@MigraineProject

Instagram
@outofmytheheadfilm

The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced at The Field in NYC.. My team is Shpresa Oruci, Michael Porte, Sam Haft and Boco Haft

https://thefieldtv.com

Comment

Ep. 103 - with Stephanie ("Sweetbitter") Danler - author, memoirist, survivor.

June 26, 2020

Amazing how time flies when you are stuck inside your apartment. I’m writing this as my home, New York City enters “Phase 2”, and all that that will entail. I’m trying to find a new form of zen in this moment. My life has winnowed down to a smaller footprint. I’m homesteading in Manhattan. I cook. In fact now I bake. I spend a great deal of time thinking about the food my boyfriend and I will eat. Then I scout my reserves of food, and usually find I need just one thing or two things. I figure out the best way to get those one or two things and then I go to it.

I cook. Then clean. Then load and unload the dishwasher. There are just two of us, and yet we seem to fill up the dishwasher at least once a day, depending on how ambitious my recipes are.

The dishwasher has become my partner during the quarantining. I bless it. The washer-dryer as well, but I don’t use it as frequently.

I read. I stopped watching much TV. I organize. I’m offloading stuff. That feels really really good.

Host Lisa Birnbach and her guest, author Stephanie Danler

My guest today, Stephanie Danler, rode a giant wave of success with her first novel, Sweetbitter, about a back waiter at an important restaurant in Manhattan. It was turned into a series on STARZ for two seasons. People thought it was a memoir, due to Danler’s past as a back waiter at NY restaurants, such as the Union Square Café. It was not. Her new book, Stray, is her memoir, and whoa! It is intense, it is poetic, and filled with a shocking amount of neglect and bad choices made by her alcoholic parents. If you look at her photograph and biography, you’ll see a beautiful and cool young writer, mother, and wife. But reading Stray, you will see Stephanie as a survivor, and someone who has done an enormous amount of work to get to the place she is now.

Here are the 5 things that made my life better this week:

1. Once again, my family. Let’s hear it for the kids. They didn’t have the easy childhood my parents gave them; theirs was riven by parents (who wanted different things and eventually had different values) and who blessedly but with difficulty split up. I give my exhibits all the credit in the world for whatever resilience they have. And as ever, I apologize for the unhappy times you guys endured.

2. My family now extends to my partner, his lovely daughter, my wonderful daughter in law, and the baby. It’s wonderful to fall in love as an adult. You know yourself better, and know what matters most.

3. Early Voting. We got our say in the Democratic primary over the weekend at an early voting location. Three of us got to go to a clean and well- monitored polling place in a high school in Harlem. Everyone was so pleasant and eager to help. It is always a privilege to vote; I never felt more so as I did this time. I cannot wait until November 3rd.

4. A kitchen scale. I never knew I would need one, but it does help follow recipes a bit more closely. As a plus it can also weigh small packages!

5. I think I’m cured of my shopping via Instagram disease. Everything takes forever – if it arrives – and then I have to start disputes via PayPal (not fun), and then the item is a cheapened facsimile of what was illustrated. I bought a dress that was supposed to be embroidered, but was printed. Hey guess what? I know the difference. And I’ve quit cold turkey.

STEPHANIE DANLER’S 5 THINGS:

1. Poetry: I’m leaning into the black poets in my library, picking up collections that feel like old friends. Kevin Young, Robin Coste Lewis, Claudia Rankine, Lucille Clifton, Danez Smith, Donika Kelly, Nicole Sealey, Nikki Finney, the list goes on and on. Some of these are overtly about race, violence, oppression (like Claudia Rankine’s Citizen), but others are about black lives: love, family, memory, joy. Kevin Young’s collection Brown has the intimacy and momentum of a memoir, and Donika Kelly’s creature poems in Bestiary are so eloquent and sensual.

2. Meditation: Obviously the world feels extremely uncertain and unstable at the moment. Global events and catastrophes aside, I’ve just released a book and I’m 34 weeks pregnant. I am using every tool available to me to stay grounded and manage anxiety. I use the Headspace app daily. I just took a Meditation Tools for Labor class at the wonderful Loom Education Center (they're doing all their classes on Zoom), and I am checking in with spiritual teacher Jan Birchfield, whom I met on a meditation retreat at the Antara Center in Taos, New Mexico. It seems like a lot, but it’s really about small, consistent increments of time where I’m coming back to my body and my breath.

3. Marcella Hazan: The Italian cookbook author has taken my husband from a decent cook to an excellent chef. Throughout quarantine he’s been making big batches of her five-hour Bolognese and freezing the leftovers. We’ve had her olive oil cake, her asparagus risotto, and her simple tomato sauce for our son. We would not be making it without her.

4. Sequoia National Park: We love to camp (my husband a bit more than me, but still), and I have been craving the quiet of the wilderness. The last time I was pregnant we ran out to Joshua Tree two weeks before my due date. This time we took our 18 month old to Sequoia National Park. There’s nothing like waking up in the giant trees, or the freedom children find in nature. I’m extremely grateful the parks have opened back up.

5. My lemon tree. Outside my bedroom is a Meyer Lemon tree that produces the sweetest lemons I’ve ever encountered. I can’t get enough of them, and neither can my son. He eats them raw, like they’re an apple (including the rind), and I squeeze huge amounts of lemon juice for my water. We put them on Marcella’s olive oil cake, we put them on the grill, in vinaigrettes, next to roasting vegetables. This tree is the reason I will never leave California.

MORE ABOUT STEPHANIE DANLER

STRAY: A Memoir
By Stephanie Danler

Website: www.StephanieDanler.com

Instagram: @smdanler

Twitter: @smdanler

Facebook: @smdanler

The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced at The Field in NYC

https://thefieldtv.com

Comment

Ep. 102 - with Alan Zweibel - Comedy writer, friend to the stars.

June 19, 2020

It’s been 3 weeks since George Floyd was murdered by policemen in Minneapolis. We saw it happen. We can’t unsee it or the wanton brutality of those cops. As Will Smith said, “Racism hasn’t gotten worse; it’s gotten filmed.” And suddenly there were films of neck-crushing, and baton wielding combined with fierce shoves and pepper spray and tear gas, and we don’t recognize the oppression that is a reality of all Black lives. Now we know more. We are seeing things we did not want to see and trying to make it better in any ways we can.

Here at headquarters we are reading books by Black authors and supporting Black-owned businesses. We’re attending webinars on slavery and reparations. We are delicately wading in as allies.

As my friend Janis Hirsch posted, “there are only 19 more Tuesdays until Election Day.” Is that possible? It sounds remarkably soon. I had planned to travel to swing states to help get out the vote, but it’s off to the phone and text banks for me. Let me know if any of you are working on any campaigns.

Meanwhile, have you been laughing lately? My guest this week, SNL alum Alan Zweibel is here with his new book, Laugh Lines, My Life Helping Funny People Be Funnier. He wrote with Gilda Radner on Saturday Night Live, and co-created It’s Garry Shandling’s Show. He wrote the play 700 Sundays with Billy Crystal. Alan knows everyone and more importantly, he goes on vacation with funny famous people. He is funny.

Have you found anything amusing or diverting? It’s hard to locate that at the moment. Try. Sometimes it requires looking back at movies that you remember as being hilarious. Some of them are still hilarious.

My list for this week:

1. Structure. My days feel much more productive when I have some appointments or things to do on a schedule. I’m not like some people who have learned a new language or to play an instrument while they’ve been at home. But it’s good to have a purpose if you don’t have a job. Know what I mean?

2. The mail! It’s sometimes the only reason I leave my apartment – to write and to receive. I’m not crazy about bills or pamphlets, but I fully and strongly support the Postal Service, and I find myself writing more notes via snail mail, because I think it’s a treat to get an actual letter.

3. I have 3 regularly scheduled zoom and conference calls a week. They basically form my structure for this amorphous time. So I depend on them. Because we are I think more introspective the more we self-quarantine, many of these conversations go deep and so personal…. It really feels like a group therapy session. So sustaining. So intimate.

4. Buying books from independent bookstores. This has been a priority of mine ever since a certain trillionaire started a book delivery company that has taken over the world. I don’t mind buying nitrile gloves or vacuum cleaner bag refills from Amazon, and I truly admire their films and tv series, but I like buying books from dedicated booksellers. I was raised with a bookstore – The Lenox Hill Bookstore which was on Madison Avenue between 86th and 87th Street – where the proprietor took pains to help his customers find just the right book for their tastes. Let’s keep those wonderful stores alive! One way you can is through bookshop.com, which in addition to giving your purchase to an independent bookstore, raises money for them.

5. The Supreme Court did something I liked this past week. In Bostock v. Clayton County, professional discrimination or termination because of sexual orientation or gender identification is now illegal. The court ruled 6-3. Good on them. Firing an employee because of whom they love is unjust. This decision gave me a glimmer of hope that at least some decency is still in our government.

Alan Zweibel’s 5 Things:

1. His wife Robin
2. Marx Brother movie, DUCK SOUP
3. Nectarines
4. Words
5. Empty baseball fields

More About Alan Zweibel

LAUGH LINES: My Life Helping Funny People Be Funnier
By Alan Zweibel

Published by Abrams Books

Website: AlanZweibel.com
https://alanzweibel.com/

Twitter
@AlanZweibel

Instagram
@alanzweibelofficial

Facebook
@AlanZweibelOfficial

The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced at The Field in NYC. My team is Shpresa Oruci, Michael Porte, Sam Haft and Boco Haft

https://thefieldtv.com

Comment

Ep. 101 - Jeff Vespa - Documentary Evidence: Voices of Parkland

June 11, 2020

I feel like I want to do a safety check-up on all of you. Are you alright? Taking care of yourselves? Exerting your voice and point of view? Over exerting yourself? Feeling like there’s too much to do? I hear you. (I wish I could see you.)

You know we have been living in emotionally draining, painful, and difficult times for years, now. The digitization and virtualization of our lives have pushed each of us into our own silo, where sometimes we have had no physical interaction with others for days on end. This was even before quarantine. Quarantine or social distancing have only magnified our sense of being alone. (If I had one wish for this blog and podcast, it would be to make you feel less alone.)

I can tell you that in the years between ExhibitA and ExhibitB graduated from high school, the reliance on cell phones took away a certain openness to meeting people in real life. This statement is not about them; it’s about how quickly life has changed in the last decade. It’s only gotten harder since 2012. ExhibitC’s grown-up life had just begun a year before the world shut down. I am sympathetic to the feeling of treading water, which is a bit like what is happening to her and her peers now.

So let me gently remind you that it was only two and a half years ago that we observed with horror the murders at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. A school shooting is an unspeakable tragedy; as we know, schools are where people go to feel safe; to be embraced by their routines, their friends, their teachers. A place where they are assured of getting fed at least one meal a day. The trauma of the Parkland murders exists in a trough of other traumas and tragedies: with the Sandy Hook Elementary School murders, and Virginia Tech murders, the shootings at Columbine High School, and so many others. There is no way to completely “get over” these calamities. Even if we weren’t there, we are all part of the collateral damage.

Host Lisa Birnbach and Jeff Vespa, director, VOICES OF PARKLAND

My guest today, Jeff Vespa, is a well-known portrait photographer, whose documentary, “Voices of Parkland” shows no violence, but allows survivors of the school shooting to express what they did and how they felt. Jeff’s film will be one of the pieces of evidence about the hardship of the decade of the 2010s.

The 5 Things that made my life better this week:

1. The press. Most people who enter the field of journalism want to expose the truth. They want to see how the sausage is made, or how the war is being waged, or how the laws were passed. As you see the individuals and teams of reporters outside the White House, on the sidelines of protests, and in war zones, you must appreciate that their jobs are difficult, sometimes dangerous, and certainly not well paid compared to other professions. When I see the police shooting and arresting reporters on live tv, I sink. What is happening when they are not on camera? Without reporters and photographers, we would be ignorant. Without them, the powerful would be ever more so. They keep a form of honest pressure on the world they cover. They help protect this democracy.

2. Emotional support. Whether you rely on a support animal, a psychiatrist, a therapy app, or keeping a diary, we all need emotional support. Period, full stop. We probably need it more these days than ever before. I wonder whether the therapists are getting enough support themselves, incidentally. There is no shame in seeking help; no stigma in seeing a counselor, certainly not in my extended universe. If you’ve never done it before, it can feel wobbly at first, and I salute you for making the effort.

3. Alan Arkin. Yes, the actor. He makes me laugh whenever I see his picture. Is it the imprint he left on me from “The Russians are Coming The Russians are Coming”? “The In-Laws”? “Little Miss Sunshine”? “The Komiskey Method”? It might be. A couple of weeks ago, I found this video on Facebook, courtesy of the actor Miles Chapin. It made my day sunnier.

4. Farm to People. I’m a late comer to this farm to table delivery service, but I couldn’t be more excited about it. It’s a wonder, honestly. Their products are so good and so local! You can subscribe to a weekly produce delivery, or a one and done sort of box – on automatic – wonderful vegetables and fruits, meats and poultry, they sell cheese and milk, and bakery items… but reliable, never a mistake (so far) and if you don’t want to go grocery shopping – I know a lot of people do not – this is the answer.

When I told Farm to People i would be mentioning them, they generously made us this offer: $10 off your first order - Use code: LISABIRNBACH

Thank you !

5. Learning about being Black. What is happening in America is an upheaval that is long overdue. I feel like I’ve been hiding behind a cloud that has masked what has gone on in this country. My white privilege is to think, study, and really pay attention.

JEFF VESPA’S 5 THINGS:

It goes without saying that my wife Emily and two daughters Genevieve and Josephine are everything for me. But after that my 5 things are:

1. Students and Families from Parkland

2. Omakase Sushi

3. Los Angeles Dodgers

4. Great Artists: Marcel Duchamp, Eugene Atget

5. Making art and telling stories

More About JEFF VESPA

Voices of Parkland

A Documentary

Directed by Jeff Vespa and Executive Produced by Judd Apatow.

Twitter: @jeffvespa

Instagram: @jeffvespa

Instagram: @portraits

Facebook: @JeffVespa

The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is produced by The Field in NYC

This week’s episode was recorded in Santa Monica in February 2020, at Eleven Sound - Thank you to the great staff and engineer at the studio.

Comment

Ep. 100 - Host Lisa Birnbach - Time for a Change

June 5, 2020

When I began this podcast 100 weeks ago, I yearned for just a little uplift. Just for me. All my adult life I have been used to taking the role of cheering up my loved ones and my friends, of being “the funny person” who’s habit it was to make light in the darkness. Unfortunately instead of celebration we have an elegy.

I had expected the qualified candidate for president to win the election for president in 2016. Everyone did. When Trump won, it was a shock. It seemed like a big practical joke that everyone was in on but us. Even Trump didn’t expect to take the White House.

For a while we whined that privileged white whine – oh it’ll be awful, or he’s not interested in government; or, he’ll ignore his responsibilities and we’ll be okay – remember he was a supporter of Planned Parenthood, and he is a New Yorker.

The week of his inauguration things started to slide downhill. The people (white men of a certain age) he named to his cabinet (and okay Betsy DeVos is female and Ben Carson is black) were not only grossly unqualified for their positions; they were people who were in favor of disbanding their positions’ mandates: Rick Perry wanted to close down the Department of Energy before he was named to run it. Betsy DeVos had had zero interaction or background in public education; she’s been gutting it ever since.

I became more and more morose, downcast, and pessimistic. Some of my friends were concerned; the Lisa they knew had disappeared or diminished. I wasn’t reliably up and cheerful and cracking wise.

By the Spring of 2018 I decided to find just five little things that kept my spirits up – really just a classic gratitude exercise that some people I know practice in their journals, or in their meditations or prayers, or at dinner with their children. I wrote down five little things – the scent of a bough of lilacs, the delights of fresh basil, the taste of the first corn of the summer, a book I had just finished and enjoyed. It wasn’t too bad. By summer I was recording these pleasures, and in due time, the little podcast became an interview program in which our guests shared their five things too.

Even when I became spitting mad or discouraged the 10 things in our podcast left at least the two of us, my guest and me, in a better mood. It seemed to work with listeners as well.

Now here we are, two years later, and it feels like we as Americans and members of the global community are standing at the abyss. Righteous indignation has been subsumed into violence. Anger and hurt are everywhere. I’m enraged most of the day.

So in honor of the protests, and in the memory of George Floyd, and David McAtee, Breonna Taylor, Tony McDade, Nina Pop, Ahmaud Arbery, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, and so many other Black people, murdered for being black, this week will be different at headquarters. No lilacs, no oat milk, or great Netflix series. Today I pause with you all, try to take a breath, and think about how we function with a government that is neither listening to us, or is distorting our message for their ends, while keeping a veil over what they are doing while we are distracted and miserable.

The work that we as white people have to do is substantial. We have wittingly and unwittingly been the oppressors. Now is the time for study and reflection (as opposed to thoughts and prayers), and I will endeavor to do better and be more mindful in my interactions with people of color.

I leave you with this poem by my teacher, the poet Michael S. Harper. This is “Brother John” recited by the poet.

Be kind to one another and act natural.

Comment

Ep. 99 - with June Diane Raphael - Empowering women with comedy and politics

May 28, 2020

So that was May. No big deal. It lasted about 7 minutes while March lasted 432 days. What do you know?

Honestly, I wouldn’t even know what day it was were it not for doing this blog and podcast every seven days. And having had an abbreviated week due to Memorial Day, I had to look at my diary or my calendar app or both all week long. That’s me. Here’s what I know: I know we are starved for one another. For company, for a change of scenery, for the outdoors, for approval, for a feeling of security. These are the things most of us don’t have at the moment.

More difficult is daily life for the many people who live alone. Even if they have a million friends, these are lonely days. You don’t always want to talk on the phone, or on Zoom, or communicate using DMs or texts. And who doesn’t feel a bit of envy for people whose pictures suggest a more productive and fulfilled quarantine? Recently I had a very blue few days – I was on the verge of tears a couple of times, but my actual own exhibits™ helped me through them. So I am extraordinarily fortunate to have children who are old enough and wise enough to help a mother out.

If you are feeling frightened or lonely, please reach out to a relative or a friend. You can even write to me if you want. We are trying to do something our generation has never done before: With our reduced attention span and vast supplies of information, both real and fake, it is easy to be overwhelmed while trying to gauge feeling our ways back to a semblance of normalcy. We don’t know what normal will even be and when it will be. So we need patience and fortitude. We’ll get there eventually.

My guest this week is the actress, writer, and activist June Diane Raphael. You might know her as Brianna on Grace and Frankie. She’s stolen scenes in everything from Burning Love to Lady Dynamite, New Girl, and Big Mouth. June Diane has appeared in Blockers, The Long Shot, Anchorman 2 and others. A graduate of Upright Citizens Brigade, she is also the founder of The Jane Club in Los Angeles, a co-working space for women with tons of events, programs, and first rate child care. A longtime activist, June Diane has written, with Kate Black, Represent: The Woman's Guide to Running for Office and Changing the World," a step-by-step guide for women who are considering a political career.”

Our interview took place in Los Angeles way back in February. At the time, Elizabeth Warren was still running to be the Democratic nominee for president. Restaurants and theaters and malls and hair salons were all open for business. We spoke in a podcasting room at The Jane Club. Social distancing hadn’t become the way of the world. We shook hands hello and goodbye.

Host Lisa Birnbach and guest - actress, activist and writer June Diane Raphael.

June-Diane-Raphael-Kate-Black_Event-Calendar-e1566485494258-873x1024.jpg

Today, I am talking to you from my apartment. I am fully dressed but thinking about what a different world we are living in from the carefree days of the winter.

The five things that made my life better this week are:

1. Comedian Sarah Cooper. She dubs statements of the president, and when she does, they are much easier to take. They are Tik Toks which I discovered her on Twitter. Hey that’s a sentence I couldn’t have written a year ago.

2. Exhibit C™ came for another visit. It was a spectacular day together. I enjoyed every minute.

3. My partner is transferring my hundreds of old video tapes (eek!) onto digital files. For every TV show I remember vividly, there is another of which I have no recollection. It’s weird. Mostly I like to look at my young hair, which was shiny and black.

4. We had our first social distanced visit with friends this week. I needed it. We were conscientious about wearing masks, staying 6 or so feet apart, and not touching.

5. Decency. It’s the minimum we should expect from one another and from our elected officials. When protesters showed up at the state capitol in Frankfurt, KY to protest the lockdown orders, they hung an effigy of Democratic governor, Andy Beshear from a tree. In A state with a history of lynching. That’s not decent. When the president golfs as the death toll of Americans approaches 100,000, that’s not decent. It’s not about politics. It’s about being civil and respectful. Who among us is against decency?

June Diane Raphael - actress, writer, activist and co-founder, The Jane Club

June Diane Raphael’s 5 Things

1. Her nanny Julianna

2. Shared photo streams on iPhone

3. Bravo

4. Money

5. Her assistant Anna

More about June Diane Raphael

Instagram: @junediane

Twitter: @MsJuneDiane

Co-Founder, The Jane Club

Instagram: @TheJaneClub

The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced by The Field in NYC

Comment

Ep. 98 - with Abby Ellin - DUPED ! - The con man I almost married

May 22, 2020

My weekly exercise of finding the good in this hard time has felt more like an exercise, to be honest, than ever before. Each week brings new waves of friends or relatives who are sick. Each week brings reminders of our fragile mortality. And each week brings new questions about how much we can take of self-isolating and staying indoors.

For me, staying indoors is not as much of a chore as you would think. Some days I keep the shades mostly closed, and I pretend I’m in a blistering hot and humid place like New Orleans in the summertime, and I have to keep my apartment dark. I’m like one of Ellen Gilchrist’s eccentric characters*.

I do believe that many people have trouble staying put; they’re active and restless. This is different for them. But knowing that this period will come to an end – in 2 months, in 5 months, even a year – makes it manageable. This is a historic moment. No one alive will ever forget the international pandemic. Books and movies will be made about it, from every perspective. We just need to be patient.

Host Lisa Birnbach and her guest Abby Ellin, author of DUPED: Double Lives, False Identities and the Con Man I Almost Married

This week’s guest was patient while she was dating a man who might have been “the one.” Abby Ellin, a writer for many publications including the New York Times, New York, the LA Times, and saw many red flags, and yet decided to give this guy a chance. Her experience gave her material for her new book, Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married, published by Public Affairs. Being habitually lied to gave her insight into the current president too.

But before I get to Abby, here is my list of five things:

1. Exhibit A’s exhibit™ -- he’s my um, son’s son, my um grandson. Unfortunately, we are separated by distance, but my daughter-in-law sends me pictures regularly, and we even try to Facetime every week. But unbeknownst to them, I stare at my little love all the time. He is my phone’s home screen, and I frequently zone out by looking at little videos she and my son have sent me. Sometimes I kiss my phone. TMI?

2. Meatless meals. It just seems we’ve been eating too much meat. And we saw a documentary which taught us that if all of us avoided meat and cheese just one day a week (!) methane emissions would drop precipitously. So last night we had a vegetarian meal, and honestly, it was delicious, I felt less heavy afterwards, and it felt good to do our bit. It doesn’t mean we’re going vegetarian or vegan, but we’re becoming more mindful of what we’re eating.

3. Got some flowers in the house. Spent too much money, perhaps, but the peonies and hyacinth looks festive, bring the outside in, and smell divine.

4. This sponge. It’s silly looking, but it is a hard worker. I’d never heard of it, but bought it at our local hardware store when I was looking for Clorox wipes. (Will they ever be able to stock them again?). I think this sponge may have some “Shark Tank” provenance, by the way.

5. My weekly phone calls/ zoom calls. I have three conversations with groups of friends that honestly help me know what day it is. Mine are on Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday. One is with old dear friends, one is with new friends, and one is a mixture. They are the human connection I need. If you can, try to schedule some regularly recurring events in your week. I think it’s helpful.

Abby Ellin, author of Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married,

Abby Ellin’s 5 Things:

1. Passport

2. Playing my cello

3. Climbing mountains

4. Larry David

5. Wearing a mask so you can yell at people on the street and they'll never be able to identify you in a line up.

MORE ABOUT ABBY ELLIN

DUPED: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married
By Abby Ellin

Published by Hachette Book Group/Public Affairs

Website: www.AbbyEllin.com

Twitter @abbyellin

Facebook @abbyellinauthor

Instagram @abby_ellin_author

The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced at The Field in NYC.

Comment

1 Comment

Ep. 97 – with Maya Ajmera - Five Things that Make Life Better for the week of May 15, 2020

May 15, 2020

I hope the past week was easier for you than it was for me. Without going into detail, one of my exhibits was very sick and in the hospital far away. Forty-six blood tests, several MRIs, 2 COVID-19 swab tests, at least one x-ray, and other assorted diagnostic tools were deployed to figure out the malady causing my child to suffer. She was both so brave and so alone. Every time I thought I’d fly out to help take care of her, someone would smartly talk me out of it. Needless to say, it only took me a few seconds to remember that going to the airport and getting on a plane are dangerous things to do, and would require me to quarantine alone somewhere where my exhibit would not be.

Our family’s prayers were answered, and my daughter is now out of the hospital, mending from we’re not sure what. That made Mother’s Day all the more poignant for me.

Listen friends. I believe that our prayers made us all feel better and that we all had a hand in her healing. And perhaps they even helped in some cosmic way. Nevertheless, I’m here to tell you I believe deeply in science. As a child, I don’t know which class I disliked more: science or math. Oh wait, it was math, but I didn’t care much for whatever science I was forced to absorb, and I didn’t absorb much after learning about human reproduction. Now I’m fascinated by and a bit in awe of science. So many great thinkers over the centuries have figured out how the body works and can be fixed when it is broken. The marvel that is an itsy bitsy pill that can regulate someone’s metabolism, or nervous system, or blood pressure, or fix an ache, or take down a fever. The science that saw climate change decades ago and tried to alert us all to prevent it, or at least slow it down. The work of scientists and researchers amazes me, and for that I am so grateful.

Guest Maya Ajmera, President and CEO, Society for Science & the Public, Publisher, Science News and host Lisa Birnbach

My guest this week Maya Ajmera is the President and CEO of Society for Science & the Public and publisher of its award-winning magazine, Science News. She started reading Science News as a student, and now not only does she run it, she runs the Regeneron Science Talent Search, né the Westinghouse Talent Search. Spreading scientific literacy has been one of her life’s goals, and I wish I’d had a teacher like her in my young life.

Lisa’s 5 Things:

My daughter’s return to health
My daughter’s return to health
My daughter’s return to health

4. Mother’s Day with #ExhibitC.

5. Red wine

Maya Ajmera’s 5 (6) Things:

1. The ability to pivot quickly and be entrepreneurial in a time of great challenges. Let me give you an example. This year, we were going to have the International Science and Engineering Fair (ISEF), the largest pre-collegiate STEM competition in the world in Anaheim, bringing together 2,000 kids from 80 countries, regions and territories to compete for $5 million in awards and prizes. We had to cancel ISEF due to COVID-19, but we pivoted to create the first-ever Regeneron Virtual International Science and Engineering Fair. This shift has helped us to include young people who wouldn't have originally been able to participate in the fair from anywhere in the world and will hear from top scientists, engineers and frontline COVID-19 researchers. This is an open forum and that gives me great pride.

2. Leading a newsroom that’s providing critical coverage of COVID-19. As Publisher of Science News, it’s been gratifying to make sure that our newsroom has the resources and support they need to report on the COVID-19 crisis. We are providing evidence-based, factual news stories on the new coronavirus that isn't hyped or sensationalistic. Also, we are providing our COVID-19 reporting for free to local newsrooms, which are being decimated right now, across the United States. Communities rely on their local news outlets and we’re hoping we can help fill in some gaps.

3. Having meals as a family every day. During these seven weeks, I have cherished having breakfast, lunch and dinner with my family every day. That just didn't happen before because my husband and I have two full-time jobs that require meetings and working late sometimes. This has been a really treasured time with my seven-year-old daughter—we can have every meal together. I feel very fortunate.

4. I am thankful for telemedicine. My mother is going through chemotherapy and she and my dad have been isolated, but now our doctor gets online and has phone calls with my mother. We have family conference calls with the doctor which has been very comforting. You would usually go to your doctor's office, but now you have the option of protecting yourself through telemedicine.

5. Delivery Services. I am really thankful for delivery services like Instacart, Doordash and Caviar, where we order food from our favorite restaurants on Saturday nights. I salute the people who are helping with shopping and delivering groceries during this uncertain time.

6. During this time of enormous disruption, giving of time, treasure and talent to those in need is meaningful to me. I feel incredibly blessed to have resources and work to make sure that we do more for those who don't. Faith plays a large part of this. I serve on several boards. We are making donations. Public service has never been more important than right now.

MORE ABOUT MAYA AJMERA

President and CEO, Society for Science & the Public

Publisher, Science News
International Science and Engineering Fair (ISEF)

Regeneron Virtual International Science and Engineering Fair

Twitter: @MayaAjmera

Twitter: @Society4Science

Twitter: @ScienceNews

Website: www.mayaajmera.com

Website: www.societyforscience.org

The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced by The Field in NYC

1 Comment

Comment

Ep. 96 - Stephen Henderson - 24-Hour Soup Kitchen

May 8, 2020

Greetings, earthlings.

As the weather becomes milder it is more difficult to stay indoors. I understand; I’m human too. I look out our windows and see the trees blossoming, the tulips in the sidewalk tree boxes, and I want to go out there! I want to walk around, buy a bunch of lilacs, and have a picnic. But it’s just not to be.

Since March 14, I have left my building once or twice a week for a short walk, or some quick, local errands. I smell the air through my mask, feel the sun on my hair, and feel grateful that things aren’t worse. If that’s the new normal, it’s somewhat temporary, I hope.

Host Lisa Birnbach and Guest Steven Henderson

Speaking of hope, my guest this week is a man who has been able to offer glimpses of hope to the have nots all around the world. Whether this started because of his early theological background or because of the privilege he recognized in his adult life hardly matter. His name is Stephen Henderson, and he volunteers to cook at soup kitchens, wherever his travels take him. His new book, The 24-Hour Soup Kitchen: Soul-Stirring Lessons in Gastrophilanthropy details his adventures cooking in usually sub-ideal conditions in India, Peru, Iran, Japan, Israel, Mexico, and even Pittsburgh. As a travel and fashion writer, he would be sent all around the world on the most luxurious of reporting gigs – for Delhi Fashion Week, to find the world’s most refined oven factory in France, or visit a super exclusive resort with only 30 guest rooms in the Andes. Then, after checking out of his 8 star hotel he would look for a soup kitchen in a close-by slum or ghetto, where he would happily slice vegetables for eight hours or serve the rice to hundreds of diners.

One can’t not be inspired by Stephen Henderson.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Lisa’s 5 Things:

1) My “Mom” mug. My daughter, #ExhibitB ™ painted this at one of those ceramics painting studios that were all the rage in the early 2000’s. She must have been somewhere between 7 and about 10 or 11 when she painted this, based on her signature on the bottom. Inside, she wrote “All gone” which you can only read once the coffee’s been drunk. It is one of the souvenirs that means a lot to me. It was on the back of the shelf the other day and I brought it back into heavy rotation with a smile.

2) The play, “What Do We Need to Talk About? Conversations on Zoom” written by Richard Nelson, which debuted online this past Wednesday, April 29th is a mirror reflection on how it feels to be us now. Nelson, the playwright and director has revisited the Apple family five times now, since 2010. Feeling just a bit like those incredible Michael Apted documentaries – 7Up, 14Up, 28Up – we’re getting to see the adult siblings of a WASPy family living in Rhinebeck (upstate) New York. One sibling has just been released from the hospital with severe COVID-19, and the youngest sister’s boyfriend thinks he has it. Brother Richard works in the Albany office of Governor Andrew Cuomo. The play, presented as a Zoom call, feels as if it were written last week. And it essentially was. Set on Wednesday, April 29th, the Apple family reminisces, frets, tells stories to one another, and say the things we’re all saying or thinking to ourselves. You can find it online at The Public Theater online at Streaming free online through Sunday on publictheater.org and YouTube.

3) Reading. More and again. Like many of you, I’m getting screen fatigue. I don’t think peering into my laptop screen, our tv screens, or my phone screen are doing my eyesight any favors, and sometimes whatever I see there feel like bombardments. I’m enjoying quietly reading a book. I’ve been reading several.

4) My brother Jon and I saw our mom again this week. I’m not sure if she’s getting as much from our visits as we are, but the peace of mind is inestimable.

5) My daughter in law FaceTimes me often with her baby boy. I love watching him walk and pick up every single thing he sees and then attempt to put it in his mouth. I’m sad we cannot be with them for his first birthday, but the live video makes the absence bearable. Vive la difference!