Welcome to you, and please welcome to my guest, Joyce White Vance!!
Lisa Birnbach and Joyce Vance
I don’t know which came first; my social media discovery of a smart, sensible, and eminently quotable former United States Attorney for the Northern District of Alabama Joyce Vance, or my discovering her as a legal analyst on MSNBC and NBC News. (It’s the age-old chicken and the egg question – MSNBC and Maddow or Maddow and MSNBC.) Once I saw her on tv, I noticed that I agreed with her tweets – and retweeted her like a madwoman. Joyce Vance co-hosts her own podcast, “#SistersInLaw” with fellow legal experts Jill Wine-Banks, Barb McQuade, and Kimberly Atkins, and they chew on the current issues of the day. I enjoyed talking to Joyce as a person who we think of as southern (she has lived in Alabama with her husband and family for over 30 years) but she is a native Los Angelena and was educated on the east coast. She raises chickens with her kids. She knits. (I saw an extraordinary Icelandic sweater she was working on.) She is also a professor at the University of Alabama School of Law.
Okay, what are we waiting for? Let’s get to Oprah, Meghan, and Harry. I didn’t care, I did care, and then I felt like to be part of this world made it mandatory viewing. And boy was it.
Having recently seen the episode of “The Crown” which showed the pre-marriage neglect of young Diana Spencer when she was engaged to Prince Charles, my eyes were open to the coldness of “the Firm” or the monarchy corporation. I understand that Meghan Markle had a lot of firsts bound in that would make her an outlier among the stodgy Windsor Mountbattens, and I appreciated their acceptance and what looked like embrace of Meghan at their wedding.
With Oprah I found her credible and beautifully spoken. I did not find her too perfect or rehearsed. I gasped when Oprah gasped. (I thought Oprah was very good; that the production was very good and simple, though I could have done without the digressions at the chicken shack.)
Meghan was the victim of a racist and snarky press. You may disagree with me, but you will not change my mind. That she was not allowed to leave the palace to see friends is believable and would make anyone feel controlled. That she had to surrender her keys and passport? That reinforces it. Controlled is one thing, but when she needed help – therapeutic medical support – that she was denied this makes for a bad situation indeed. I get it. I believe her depression was real.
Harry seems like a devoted husband and one with PTSD around the hounding and death of his mother. Good for both of them to admit that they were overwhelmed with anxiety of all kinds. So call me pro-Harry and Meghan. They gained freedom in this country where Black Lives Matter and where racism is woven into the country’s DNA but gave up so much to move here.
BUT BUT BUT. To me equally as interesting is the gigantic wave of people who were offended by Meghan and Harry. They found her phony, they have no pity for the Duchess, who they believe is much more canny and shrewd than she presented. When Meghan said she never researched what it means to be married to the Queen’s grandson – okay maybe that seemed disingenuous, but the comments on social media are passionately against her and for her – and on Facebook it seemed to pit friend against friend. Or at least “friend” vs. “friend.” Yikes!
All I’d like to know is how Meghan got better – telling us that might help the many viewers who suffer from depression – and I hope she takes care of herself mentally after she gives birth to her baby daughter.
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Before you hear my conversation with Joyce Vance – here are my 5 Things that Make Life Better.
1. My mother’s caregivers. We’ve been through a lot this week, and they have been exemplary – patient and conscientious.
2. Skincare and skincare bonding. I never learned about skincare. I grew up sunbathing fiendishly – I loved having a tan; it was better than makeup. Whoops! It so happens my #Exhibits™ and my #ExhibitInLaw ™ are very smart about protecting their skin (all adherents to year-round sunscreen, etc.) and now that I’m forced to look at myself all day on Zooms I’m becoming slightly obsessed. During my hibernation I’ve become obsessed. I admit it! Shout out to #EveLom and Augustinus Bader.
3. Dr. Jill Biden for being a kind and empathetic first lady. She’s a real human lady too.
4. The tuna salad at Gentile’s Fine Food on Madison Ave. Long ago when I lived near this little but exquisite family-owned market, I was addicted to the tuna. (The first step is acknowledging there’s a problem.). Then I moved away and so did they. Their new shop is open (1118 Madison Ave.) where they make that wonderfully fine tuna salad. Yum
5. Pajamas. For years I was all about nightgowns. Now I just adore a fresh pair of cotton pjs. And this started before last year. I love them with short sleeves in the summer and long sleeves in the winter. TMI?
JOYCE VANCE’S 5 THINGS:
1. Swedish baked goods
2. Chickens
3. Zoom drinks with girlfriends
4. My German Shep, Bella
5. Family meals
MORE ABOUT JOYCE VANCE
#SISTERSINLAW podcast
https://politicon.podlink.to/sistersinlaw
Twitter: @JoyceWhiteVance
The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced at The Field in NYC. My team is Shpresa Oruci, Michael Porte, Sam Haft and Boco Haft.The Field in NYC.