Lisa Birnbach and Marla Aaron
Hi. My guest today is one of the coolest people telling stories -- and lots of them – on Instagram. Marla Aaron, now a kind of famous jeweler – she was interviewed in People Magazine last week – is bright and shiny person herself. She had a big corporate job for years and then realized she wanted to make jewelry instead. You will hear her story and learn about her activism momentarily.
I lost a dear friend over the weekend, Janie Furse. A Texan, she grew up in a small town outside Houston. We met as teenagers at Andover (Phillips Academy) Summer Session in the olden days and thanks to her diligence (before the internet) reconnecting during college. I introduced her to the son of family friends, a real New Yorker, and she married him. She ended up living in NYC – which was perfect for her smart, sassy, clever, feisty self. Janie never lost Texas but she was a quintessential New Yorker too, working on the rewrite desk at the Daily News and the NY Post for years. She has two wonderful daughters, who have been through so much these last three years since Janie was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She even hiked over 100 miles on the Camino San Compostola in Spain with her daughter Meredith, 8 months after surviving a brutal surgery and chemotherapy. She lived to the hilt. I’m so privileged to have been her friend. I’m crushed that her life was so short. But she instructed me, “No boo hoo.” I’m not crying, Janie, just have something in my eye.
I want to say something here about ambition. It’s a word I’ve grown to dislike, as it suggests to me men with greased back hair and ruthlessness. But ambition – unlike greed – is good. I used to call myself ambitious. Janie went to Columbia Journalism School to became a journalist and she did it. She worked hard at it. Sometimes someone can be so good at what they do they make it look easy, but that doesn’t mean it always is. I’m watching my #Exhibits (including Star and Izzy) as they progress in their chosen professions, and see them accumulate successes and credits. They are ambitious, but not killers. They are gracefully moving up in the world, and have plans. Plans are applied hope. Plans are optimism.
I sometimes wonder if I’ll be aged out of the loop, but an 89 year old costume designer just won the Oscar, as did 83 year old Sir Anthony Hopkins, so perhaps, the loop is large and forgiving, at least for the talented.
I want to be more ambitious now. Time is so precious.
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But first, my five things that make my life better:
1. Communication. I am fortunate that I can write and that I like to write. If I have to I can write quickly. If inspired, I can drift into the flow which feels like I’m flying. And I can usually talk. I don’t take either of these things for granted.
2. My wonderful hair colorist. Angela Cosmai. I’ve followed her for more than 20 years. Wherever she goeth, I goeth. She has her own salon in Greenwich, CT and works in the city every week at Pierre Michel. With Angela I get not only expert color, but an ally with a wonderful heart. I cannot count the times I have cried in her chair, but never from her work. I look 100% better when I see her. http://angelacosmai.com/locations
3. Everytown for Gun Safety. How can we be the country with citizens who shoot when we get mad, or get drunk, or forget that our guns are loaded? How have we unlearned that we speak when we are upset and look for solutions that are peaceful and help us reconcile? Why do innocent people die every single day in America? We have to do better. We have to raise expectations that children in the poor communities will live to adulthood and older. Everytown, Moms Demand Action, Americans for Responsible Solutions (founded by Gabrielle Giffords and Sen. Mark Kelly), The Brady Campaign – they all are fighting to expand background checks and get guns off the streets. Please consider their essential work. We can’t wait for things to get worse.
4. Eating outdoors. Now that we are vaccinated and still masked and careful, being outside at one of New York’s restaurants has the feel of being at a festivity. Flowers and shrubs and fairy lights and heaters – it is pretty and feels like a victory. New York has done very very well since last year when we were the epicenter of the disease. Eating outside is our pleasure and our due.
5. The vaccine. I hope every single one of you is vaccinated or on the way to being vaccinated. There is all the evidence in the world that the Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson vaccines will prevent death from Covid-19. Scared of the side-effects that you’ve heard about? They make you feel bad for a day or so and then boom! You’re protected from this horrible and deadly disease. Not everyone gets a reaction. People are taking the first shot but avoiding the second? That’s not a good idea.
Marla Aaron’s 5 Things:
1. Cabbage: It's remarkable. I have now even perfected serving it as an entree. Completely underrated food. Like the rutabaga but more of a crowd pleaser. I want to make everyone love cabbage--it's my side hustle.
2. Getting dressed every day. And I do mean every day except the occasional weekend day when I schluff around. I get dressed for me and for "you" because how we take the time to present ourselves to the world is an act of communication about who we are. This became more important as I saw the world around me falling apart as I was stuck at home during lockdown. I continued to methodically lay out my clothes, do my face--and that's when I sort of started "documenting it" on our Instagram. I was trying to create a cycle of perking people up--I perked myself up, I put that out there, I perked other people up perhaps. Caring about your clothing and jewelry is an act of beauty and grace.
3. A funny husband. I have one. I am very lucky. He makes me laugh a lot. Including at myself which is perhaps the most important.
4. Writing it down--I keep notebooks--lots of notebooks. They are an absolute mess. They are mine. I keep track of my business, my employees, my projects, my designs, my blood pressure. I use Hermes notebooks and I love them in an unhealthy way. My first was given to me as a gift when I was 23 by a former boss. But any notebook will do.
5. Acceptance. For myself and everyone in my life. Acceptance is magic.
More About Marla Aaron
Instagram @marlaaaron
Pinterest @ Marla Aaron Jewelry
Twitter: @marlaaaron
Website marlaaaron.com.
The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced at The Field in NYC. My team is Shpresa Oruci, Michael Porte, Sam Haft and Boco Haft.The Field in NYC.
Janie Furse
1957-2021