I can’t blame my failures or tardiness or forgetfulness on Trump anymore. And I’m glad. Since President Biden’s and Vice President Harris’ inauguration, I am much more forward-looking.
This is how I feel: Remember – if you can -- in the time before you had children, the biggest decision you and your spouse had was where to eat or if you should go to the movies on Friday or Saturday? That’s kind of how I feel. Biden’s victory makes me not have to focus on big decisions like moving to another country or something momentous and disrupting. I can stay home and be anything I want to be: a writer or a podcaster or a (slow) rapper or even well an FBI agent.
Lisa Birnbach and Frank Figliuzzi
Just kidding about the FBI. The Federal Bureau of Investigation is as you know, one of the most elite assemblages of brave and patriotic men and women who have pledged their lives to keep the country free and honest. Today’s guest, Frank Figliuzzi who you know from his many appearances on tv, was an agent for 25 years, rising to the position of Assistant Director of the Counterintelligence Division. From reading his new book, The FBI Way: Inside the Code of Excellence I intuited that I could never have been a candidate for the FBI. For one thing, the gun. (A lot of candidates get cut from the program when it comes to handling a “sidepiece.).
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Before our conversation, here are my five things that make life better:
1. I had some of our knives sharpened. We had the worst, dullest knives. My household has a mix of his and mine, and none of them are really up to the nightly cooking I do. So I finally – after 3 years of passing a hardware store that has a sign that they sharpen knives – took some knives over. They were sharpened in about 5 minutes and the change is dramatic. They are still not great chef’s knives or Japanese carbon whatevers, but they are much much improved. An inexpensive fix.
2. The Bernie memes. I’m mentioning them this week because they are still proliferating. The Bernie in “Seinfeld”, the Bernie in “Basic Instinct”, “Friends”, and the Polar Bear. They still make me laugh. And they somehow make Bernie Sanders more likeable.
Dr. Anthony Fauci
3. Anthony Fauci. For taking care of us. For smiling again. For being respected by the new administration and relying on science not “alternative facts”.
4. Food52 videos. For a novice like me, they make everything look so easy, and everything is not easy. But I’ve made some dishes from the videos that are tasty. (Yesterday I tried to bake a chocolate cake – not from Food52. It came out ugly and smelling like popcorn. Baking is scary and not guaranteed to have a happy ending.)
5. Charms. I had the most wonderful charm bracelet for a long time. Here’s a photo. It disappeared more than 10 years ago, and I am heartbroken. But, charms are such a wonderful memento of one’s personal history. I made one for each of my female exhibits ™ as well. I still collect them intermittently, now to hang them around my neck on a chain. Each one tells a story.
APB: Looking for this charm bracelet or any parts thereof. Last seen on East End Avenue and 80th Street on the 12th floor on top of a bureau. Reward offered.
Frank Figliuzzi
Frank Figliuzzi’s 5 (7) Things:
1. Code
2. Conservancy
3. Clarity
4. Consequences
5. Compassion
6. Credibility
7. Consistency
More About Frank Figliuzzi
THE FBI WAY: INSIDE THE BUREAU'S CODE OF EXCELLENCE
By Frank Figliuzzi
Published by Harper Collins/Custom House.
Twitter @FrankFigliuzzi1
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The 5 Things That Make Life Better podcast is recorded and produced at The Field in NYC. My team is Shpresa Oruci, Michael Porte, Sam Haft and Boco Haft.The Field in NYC